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Dear Consumas:
It has come ta our
attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS XP/PROVIDENCE EDITION may
have accidentally bin shipped outsida Providence. If ya got one a dese,
you may need some help understandin' da commands.
Da Providence
edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads:
"WINDAS
XP," wit a background picture of Federal Hill. When you start
da program, instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you
hear da theme from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen
sava.
Please also note:
Recycle Bin is
labeled "RI-ACI."
My Computer is
called "My Friggin' Computa."
The Inbox is
referred to as "Da Trunk."
Deleted Items are
referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed
Out."
Dial up Networking
is called "Da Bar."
Control Panel is
known as the "Da Bosses."
Performin' an
"illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family
business" and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin'
it down.
Hard Drive is
referred to as "Da I95 Rush Hour." (For you rednecks the I95
is the Providence-I95 Expressway, Providence's idea of a highway. With
all the potholes it's more like a minefield.)
Instead of an error
message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!" pops up.
CHANGES IN
TERMINOLOGY IN DA PROVIDENCE EDITION:
OK...........Sure
ting
Cancel......Fugeddaboutit
Reset........Start Ova
Yes..........Yeah
No............Nah
Find..........Put a contract out on
Browse.....Get a looksee
Back.........U toin
Help..........(Ain't available-yous don't need no stinkin' help)
Stop..........Knock it off
Start..........Move it!
Settings.....Here's d' Rules
Also note dat any
voice recognition software run on da PROVIDENCE EDITION platform don't
recognize da letter "R."
Some programs and
udder accessories dat are exclusive to WINDAS XP:
Typa................A
word processin' program
Printa...............Printer
Calculata..........Calculator
Solitare.............Seven
Card Stud |
